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Friday, October 3, 2008

A Cradle Song

The angels are stooping
Above your bed;
They weary of trooping 
With the whimpering dead.
God's laughing in Heaven
To see you so good;
The Sailing Seven
are gay with His mood.
I sigh that kiss you,
For I must own
That I shall miss you
When you have grown

-W.B. Yeats

Lately I feel like my kids have been growing up in fast forward.   It seems as though the new school year has turned my babies into children.   Frostine has lost two teeth and we took the training wheels off her bike.  Lolly likes to make her own breakfast and prefers to take a shower and wash her own hair rather than have me do it in the bathtub.   They wrote their own thank you notes for gifts they received at their birthday party.  They went to their first sleep over party.  Gloppy gets himself dressed in the morning and asks for "breakfast" instead of "brepast."   When I take him to the park he's more interested in playing with his friends than having me push him on the swing.  All three kids learned how to swim this summer.  Real swimming, under the water and through my legs swimming.

I sigh that kiss you,
For I must own
That I shall miss you
When you have grown

We walk to school in the mornings and the girls have been begging me to be able to ride their bikes instead.   It makes me nervous since there are no sidewalks in our town and the road to school is busy with parents rushing to get their kids to school on time.   We bought them brand new helmets and after a few practice runs I agreed to let them ride their bikes with me running along.   I held my breath when they raced ahead of me as I hung back with Gloppy.   By the time I reached school they already had their bikes parked and were on their way to hang up their backpacks.  So different from last year when Lolly would not let go of my hand until the bell rang and her teacher opened the classroom door.   Later that morning I dropped Gloppy off at preschool and he barely raised his head from the legos to say good-bye to me.  So different from last year when I got a phone call only a half hour after I dropped him off saying he hadn't stopped crying.

I sigh that kiss you,
For I must own
That I shall miss you
When you have grown

I've spent the past six years rushing to get to the next stage.  Hurry and get them out of diapers.  Hurry and learn to crawl, walk, run, play soccer.  Hurry and learn to talk so you can communicate with words instead of tantrums.  Hurry and learn to feed yourself, sleep in a big bed, brush your own teeth, buckle your own seatbelt.  Hurry and go off to school so I can have some more free time.

I sigh that kiss you,
For I must own
That I shall miss you
When you have grown

The past few weeks of marveling at my kids accomplishments have weighed on me like a ton of bricks.  Those early days of bottles and binkies and lullabies seemed to go by so slowly.  But the years have gone by so fast.  I own it.  I already miss the days of bottles and binkies and lullabies that I was in such a hurry to get past.  I miss the two little babies I pushed in a double stroller.  I miss the little boy I carried all over San Francisco in a Baby Bjorn.  I own it.  I will miss the six year old little girl who peppers me with endless questions.  I will miss the other six year old little girl who just learned to ride a two wheeler.  I will miss the little boy who tip toes into my bedroom each morning to wake me up.  I own it.


Kate Coveny Hood said...

That's a beautiful reminder to be in the moment and really enjoy the early days (even when they're hard).

Sorry to have missed you last night! Hope everything is going well with everyone there - keep us posted.

Kari said...

I was reading this as my kids were watching Lion King, so "Can you feel the Love tonight" was playing in the background as I read. I was totally crying!

It's so true...

PsychMamma said...

What a beautiful, beautiful post. As J goes through the "terrible 2s/3s" I find myself struggling with these issues a lot. When I get impatient and just want a break from her or feel super-frustrated, I try to step back and realize I'm never going to have these years back. Even though they're often trying and difficult, they're also filled with wonder and magic that I want to savor. Never easy to do in the moment.

Thanks for the beautiful reminder.

And I love the kiddo pic at the end.

anymommy said...

I think about this every single day. Time stand still! Just for a moment so I can drink it all in and yet, I want to see them grown and independent too. So well said.

EatPlayLove said...

I completely agree. My two year old is so desperate to be just like her big sister. My hubby and I always feel so sad when their little cute phrases turn into real words.

Melissa said...

So true, so true. It all goes so fast.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post! I have been struggling with this as soon as my baby started walking. Luckily he is still lacking in hair so I can let him stay my baby a little bit longer... keeping the full on toddler at bay. But my older boy now 4... is getting so long and lean. I am dreading the day that he stops his incessant chatter. Even as it makes me want to put a fork in one eye.

Tyreese Nelson said...

Interesting thoughtts