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Saturday, July 19, 2008

They're Both My Favorites

Lolly and Frostine.  Frostine and Lolly.   My first borns.   There are twins on my mom's side of the family and my dad's side of the family.  It never occurred to me that I would have twins.  Until my 30th birthday when I went to my very first OB appointment at 6 weeks pregnant and the doctor showed me those two little blobs swimming around in my uterus.   I drove home in a daze.  

Frostine and Lolly are fraternal twins.   Which means they do not have the same DNA.   I often get asked if they are identical.  But once people get to know them, they realize they are anything but identical.  When they were infants sleeping together in a co-sleeper next to my bed, I would reach over in the middle of the night and know exactly who was who just by touching them.  We used to call Lolly squishy because she was cuddly and well... squishy.  Frostine is all muscle, just like her dad.   She's been blessed with great, solid muscle tone.

Lots of mothers of twins struggle with "treating them as individuals."  I don't see it as a struggle, because their unique personalities force to me treat them as the individuals they are.  

Mr. Mint likes to give me a hard time, saying I play favorites with Lolly.  It may seem that way to him, but I know that's not the case.  Lolly needs me in a more intense way than Frostine.   Lolly is the one who clung to me and cried her eyes out on the first day of preschool while Frostine sat right down and got busy with some crayons.   The other night when I had tucked them into bed, Lolly looked at me longingly and said, "when will I see you again?"  She always wants to sit on my lap, wear my perfume and needs "one more hug and kiss."   I get Lolly.  She likes the same foods that I like.  She is shy in the same way I was as a kid.  She is very aware of other people's emotions.  Whether I am cooking dinner or typing on my laptop, she wants to be involved.

I am in awe of Frostine.  She is naturally athletic and will try just about anything.  Frostine has a competitive streak that is clearly straight from Mr. Mint.   When she realized that most kids in her kindergarten class could jump rope better than she could, she would come home from school and practice and practice until she was kicking jump rope ass on the playground.  Again, like her father, she is a whiz with numbers.  She would breeze right through her math worksheets.  Her camp counselor described her as "a spunky go-getter."  My hearts bursts with pride when I watch her determination in action.

So yes, Lolly is my favorite.  She's my favorite Lolly, and I love her in ways that are only for her.  And yes, Frostine is my favorite.  She is my favorite Frostine, and I love her in ways that are only for her.  I love them in very different, equally deep ways.  

And in case you're wondering about Gloppy...  he will always be my favorite son.


anymommy said...

You got me with that one. They are so beautiful and your words are so perfect. I've told my two oldest something similar, but not so well!

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

Your girls are just GORGEOUS. My 4 year old recently asked me for the first time who was her fave - her or the little sister. My answer? "I love you the best 'cause you're you, and I lover her the best 'cause she's her!"

It was GREAT hanging out with you at BlogHer! I'm looking forward to delving into your blog and getting to know you better.

Thanks for stopping by Sweet Life!

Marinka said...

That is so beautiful and they are gorgeous. Are you sure they're not identical?

Anonymous said...

Your girls are so cute and I love your blog so much! It's the only one I read ever. Thanks for the enjoyment. As one parent to another, I really get all that you are talking about.

Mama Ginger Tree said...

Anon: thank you, thank you, thank you. It is so nice to open a computer screen and know that you are not alone in your parenthood experiences. It's why I love to read blogs and why I love to write mine.

Anonymous said...

Aw, this is such a sweet post!

This is my first time stopping by your blog but I love it! I'm so glad I found it. I'll definitely be popping in to read more often.