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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Not About Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows

Lately I've been feeling a little "off."  Every time I sit down to write something I get discouraged because I sound like a whiner.  I figure I'll just write about all the things that are bothering me.  Maybe if I get it all out, I can move on.  So if you are looking for sunshine lollipops and rainbows, this may not be the post for you.  Come back in a few days.

This is going to sound nuts, but the weather here in the Bay Area is really starting to bother me.  It's October and the temperature has been between 80 and 90 degrees in the afternoon.  I love summer and I embrace the hot weather for the summer months.  But summer is OVER.  I am ready for hot cocoa and pajamas with feet.  I want to wear jeans and sweaters and closed toe shoes rather than flip flops.  I want to walk to the end of my driveway to get the trash cans without sweating.  I want to bundle up my kids and splash in rain puddles.  Then bring them inside, build a fire and eat soup with crusty french bread in front of a movie.   ENOUGH with the Indian summer already.  

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My house.  I won't elaborate on this one, since you've heard it all before.  But I am hosting a parent get together for Gloppy's preschool here on Wednesday and my house has a loooong way to go before it's considered presentable.  I have a lot to do between now and Wednesday.  

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Mr. Mint and I had a fight last weekend.  A scream at each other in front of the kids, nasty fight.  It was mostly my fault.  I can admit when I've screwed up.  No one was unfaithful or anything like that, but it was a big fight.  He hasn't really said more than two words to me all week.  Not that I don't deserve the silent treatment, but can we just talk about it and move on now!!   I get it.  You have been angry at me about this for a long time and now I get it.  You win.  I'm sorry.  

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I'm just going to come out and say it.  Neither one of our presidential candidates really gets me excited.  I don't really like to talk about politics.  Not because I don't have opinions about it, but more because others have such strong opinions this year.  I am definitely leaning in one direction and for reasons I feel strongly about, but you won't hear me lay those out on my blog.  I admire those that do and are so very well informed.  Our country is in a bad place right now and I don't really think one man, be it McCain or Obama can change it all on his own.   

I am terrified and discouraged about the state of our economy.  Mr. Mint works for an investment bank and for the first time I am scared about the future of his company and his job.  He has been telling me for at least two years that things are getting bad and we are headed for a serious depression, but I blew him off.  Americans have been living beyond their means and it is finally time to pay the piper.  Fortunately, Mr. Mint is a smart man and we did not buy a house that we couldn't really afford.  We may not be able to remodel it as quickly or as elaborately as I had once hoped, but don't cry for me.   My kids attend a great public school and have shoes on their feet.   I used to shop with out much thought as to wether or not we truly needed what I was buying or if we could afford it.   I would go on a shopping spree and buy the kids some cute outfits they didn't really need and Mr. Mint would get angry and tell me about the coming recession and blah, blah, blah.   Well now I get it.   I scrutinize things at the grocery store and ask myself if it is really necessary to buy Gloppy another train for his train set just to avoid a tantrum in the toy store.   I opt for the store brand and the tantrum.

I don't think either candidate has a plan to get us out of this mess and I don't think one person can get us out of this mess.  I am almost glad that the housing market has blown up.  It's painful for lots of people, but at least things can get back to normal.  Buying a house should be something that you work hard for and earn because you sacrificed and saved money for a down payment and have good credit.  

Every Saturday on the soccer sidelines it's all we talk about with the other parents: the election, the economy, the stock market.  I see the worry in the face of my friend who is paying two mortgages right now, just reduced the price her house she's trying to sell.  Her husband works for a hedge fund.  She is worried sick.

I'll vote for the candidate I think will instill hope in people and possible restore the rest of the world's faith in America.   There is really no point to my rambling other than I am disappointed with where we are right now and I don't think either McCain or Obama will save us.  

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Gloppy.  His leg is much better, but he still walks with a noticeable limp.  He holds his own at preschool, but I think it is difficult for him to hobble around amidst 15 other kids running and pushing.  He is beyond tired when I pick him up.  He basically has been testing my patience since he injured himself.  He has tantrums at the drop of a hat and hits me when I try to calm him down.  I am trying to remain calm, but sometimes I feel like losing it at the end of the day.  He has been in time out more often that I care to admit. 

I know this will pass and he will be back to him normal, charming, loving self at some point.  But right now I am not enjoying three years old.

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Just so I don't leave you feeling depressed and discouraged... I'll leave you with this.

13 comments:

Marinka said...

Really, I think the economy and world events are enough to make anyone feel depressed and discouraged. I am assuming that you weren't in your right mind when you said that the fight was mostly your fault? You were worried about the economy and those words just slipped out!

I'm sorry you had a rough week. Some weeks just really, really suck and blow. I hope that this week is better for you.

Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I think it is in the air everywhere right now and it sucks. We downsized when we came to the US and so I know how it feels to go from spending freely to considering every purchase. It kinda sucks the joy out of life for a while. (Although it sounds spoilt to say that, and of course we should be happy for what we do have, it's all relative...)

I don't have any words of comfort but I really wish I did. I do know (from my one college economics class which, by the way, made me cry) that these things are cyclical. Eventually things will look up. We all just need to hang on for the ride.

I was right. That is really no comfort whatsoever.

Give those delicious children a great big hug(and Mr Mint, who must be pretty stressed himself right now). I really hope you feel better soon.

PsychMamma said...

I just got done telling my hubby that I'm willing to bet that marital fights and problems will increase with all that's happening with the economy. Money is the number one stressor in a relationship, and what's happening right now is hitting everyone. Some worse than others, yes, but we're all feeling stressed.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling glum. I hope the fight remnants wear off soon, that Gloppy's leg is better soon, and that YOU feel better soon.

Maybe a crisp fall wind will blow in that will chase all the crap away...

Sending hugs and good wishes.

Anna said...

Sigh. I know how you feel! About the economy/politics, a big fight with hubby, a sick child, a house I don't like - I have felt that way too! And interestingly enough, also sick of the weather here in the Bay Area. What gives? I get dressed in jeans and layers every (chilly) morning and feel downright uncomfortable by 2 p.m.! I'm ready to bust out my turtlenecks and boots.

I hope you feel better soon!

anymommy said...

Some weeks are the pits. Hopefully, it helped to vent about it all a little. Life just isn't all lollipops and rainbows, and anyone who pretends otherwise totally lies!

If you really want a little fall weather, maybe we should consider a wife swap deal...I'm freezing up here. Lol!

Melissa said...

I'm there with you. I haven't had a full out fight with the spouse, but there's a lot of snarking going on. Sigh...

But I hope you feel better. Maybe I ought to just vent on my blog, too. Sort of like a blog enema? :)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I relate to soooo much of this.... Mr. Mint and my husband have completely different jobs - but they were separated at birth when it comes to predicting the current economy and the conservative attitude about home buying. NOW I know why we live in a little town house when everyone else was buying large single family homes. Not all of them could actually afford those homes. Oooohhh. Now I get it.

Don't worry - I know that it's not all lollipops and gumdrops in the Candy Cane Forrest. It's not all filling and frosting at The Big Piece of Cake either. Fun times all around...

heartatpreschool said...

Wow, I'm so sorry things have been so sucky for you lately. I hope things start stabalizing and getting a bit better on the home front for you soon.

xoxoxo

Maura said...

I'm glad you got it all out there -- nothing makes me feel better when I'm feeling a bit helpless than to just vent it to the fullest and get the crap out of my head.

I agree with you on many of your points about where the country is at, but I'm letting myself feel hopeful. You're right: No one man or woman can fix this. But I think if we can turn our shared feelings to action, we will come through the other side even better.

I hope this week is better and next week better still.

Um, can I have a lollipop now?

emily said...

i came across your blog somehow or another and wanted to say hello. i have been reading several of your posts and love them . . . a lot of them seem as if i could have written them myself!

hope your week is better than the last!

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

Well you did leave us with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows....so, thanks!

Hoping Gloppy's leg feels better soon and that you are feeling better yourself. Hopefully the cooler weather will come and you will feel much better.

HUGS!

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

I'm sorry you're feeling down in the dumps, girlfriend. But everything you've written about deserves serious thought and consideration.

We are in a recession, that is true - but this country has been there before. With hard work and perseverance (like you said) things will turn back around. Maybe this kind of economy is what the American People NEEDED to get a handle on the "gimme" mentality. It is, however, very hard to see people suffer.

Rainbows take sunshine AND rain.

Insta-mom said...

After your comment on my post about possibly not getting paid, I've been thinking about you and your family a lot as I hear about the economy. Not in the "Oh gosh, I'd better send shoes and coupons" sort of way, but in the "Gosh, I hope they're not too stressed out" way.

I think banking on hope right now is all we can do.

Hugs.